Luli

First day of class went pretty smoothly, though I did up being late to my speech class because of being forgetful as usual. I wish I could work on my memory it’s always a bit spotty. I feel as if there’s something wrong with my brain to cause myself to forget as much as I do. I think I should probably find some info on the Internet that will help improve my memory. I need to start paying attention to details, which is something that I tend to blow off or simply not see or think about. But back to the topic of back to school so far my classes on Tuesday are going to be hard …well to tell you the truth all my classes will be hard this semester. I should’ve really thought more about my previous semesters and planned out my class a bit more. But oh well its not like I can change the past to make up for it.
So English and Speech were the two classes that I had today but tomorrow I’ll have my other three classes. Which will be alright, I mean I guess it’s better than having a ton of classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Tomorrow I have Geometry, Humanities, and Psychology. Gah!! I am pretty fearful of how this semester is going to turn out just because I really need to raise my GPA mostly because this past year wasn’t the greatest year ever. Especially when I moved around so much and we were trying to set up the apartment even though we are still doing that it feels much more together for some reason. I think I’ll be able to achieve my goals of good grades. Am excited to prove myself this semester. I have a huge list of “ To Dos” That I need to put together because like I said before my memory isn’t the greatest. I need a school, work, and personal lists and am sitting here thinking why the hell am I being so anile about it? I feel like I have to focus on improving myself and not waiting until the last minute.
I think that’s my latest kick is just trying to improve myself and become a better person. I saw a poster for auditions for a play and my heart took a leap. I think I might talk to Erin about it and see if she might want to do it with me. I should go and get more details on it and figure out when they are happening. That would be so cool to be able to do that! That would just blow my mind. I hope the director is my old theatre professor. That would be really awesome and a bit of luck. I think he felt bad for not casting me in his last play, which was rather a hick type play, which totally didn’t qualify for a 6’2 Samoan girl.
It’d be pretty sweet to go to school, be in a play, and work that would make me insanely busy which is what I need.

I have been in a rather reflective state of mind recently as I've been visiting bars and enjoying some mighty fine drinks. I find it interesting to listen to peoples goals and how they are trying to achieve them...and the entire struggle of what to do at THE moment the wonderful fork in the road. whether or not to take the road that is more out of habit or to challenge yourself to go the different route and have a whole new experience. Its hard to make that change to stick yourself out there and to your goals when its so much easier to to do what you already know.

its hard not to take the safe path

So went out with a friend from work. Erin ...she crazy fun we went and saw this awesome retro 50's band looking guys. They were fricking AWESOME. I tried out beer again I believe it was a killagen? anyway beer is still nasty ..yuck yuck!

But I was all nicely dressed rather hip hop style so I got a lot of stares from people since the bar was mostly ...by mostly I mean all alternative type people...... sooo needless to say I got a lot snide remarks and some werid looks. these two bitch girls said that some "weird birds flew in tonight" that my friends is a straight quote I just had to glance backwards and the damn cowards shut right up, frickking prick who the hell refers to people as birds?? what crazy people

x3 So school is starting up in 3 1/2 weeks just went and signed up for all my classes am taking 17.5 hrs D: dammmmmnnnn! what was I thinking XD lol oh well it shall be interesting <3

So this whole week i had off because i was going to be on a dig and finding lost treasures ! and getting put on the history channel to yap about the same thing in 20 different ways buuuuuut it ended up not working out T_____T we got rained out...that and the program leaders sucked at giving directions and.....yeah so that blew my whole week T___T ...

I had a good sunday I went to the movies with a friend. His name is Andrew he's really sweet and really dorky that and weird O.o lol He's kind of like those anime guys that are worried about saying the wrong thing all the time and end up saying it. It was rather fun ^^ lol Found out he was dating one of our co-workers ..but I guess something bad happen soo now their not. Kind of sad no?

Anywho I couldn't find anyone to cover my thrusday which would be today so I work ! YAY! D: i think I like to work a little to much XD lol

OOooOoo I shall be going up to see my sister in the last week of july <3 woohooo that should be fun! x3 I can't wait <3 I haven't seen her in a long time ;-; I miss her <3 but in about a week and a half I should be up there yay!! MmmmMm and thats pretty much it on this end.

From the look at my friends journals looks like ms. rachael is in town x3 you guys have fun ..by the by P of C 2 kind of sucked T___T made me sad <3

- Hang with friends
- relax and enjoy the sun
- go horse back riding as much as possible >3 Agustice you shall been ridden by me by the end of summer ! bwhhahahah -chases after-
- eat some good ass food
- work my little ass off
- a visit to my sisters at the end of the summer
- and get my crap together for fall semester <3
- Pay off my black holes aka credit cards T_____T never getting them again. Long live the check card!!

Hope the rest of you are having a good one ^^

Alright so am really enjoying my classes this semester never mind about the tediousness of homework... But my professor ...are truly awesome characters with their uniqueness from the everyday drone of my peers. D: Sometimes I swear slapping my peers would snap them out of MTV reality shows but who knows maybe it'd kick them into Jackass mode. Any who I feel like they are rather Dickenson -ish I use that term loosely though because its nothing like that one bleak house character that’s always saying "shake me up Judy" but in the fact that they are so out of the ordinary that they are normal. XD Sort of ... lol here are the characters

My Math professor : She's older than snot but has the tanned looked from that old lady from Something about mary. o.o faked and baked wayyyy to much and wears weird ass make-up and when she is talking about the problems on the board she talks about how she went to Dillard’s which down here is a major class thing ..anyone who has class shops there mentalities.

Then there is my incredibly liberal history teacher who is this short little man that prances around and yells and is always swept up in his emotions about history and blah blah ... D: today he talked about Samoa! Snap ;) its good to be in the lecture... but mostly it was about what Margaret Mead said about the culture and her book. And if people know Margaret Mead she was white which kind of put a damper on the subject and yeah ended up being all about her but I was really happy that at least it was something about Samoans. XD woohoo! I was all like I know where that is x3 <33

Ah then my English professor who is hil…a…ri…ous hilarious!! He jumps around the board spouting off anal retentive stuff like how to spell his name and where to put it and in what exact spot and not a space more ….and if you circle response on a question vs. the letter and dragging in random students to make his point. omg it is always a blast going into his class XD lol

Ooo then there’s my psychology professor who makes drug references and has a very organic way of teaching letting the questions flow from us XD lol . He’s a blast too

And then the evil Nazi-green party art professor….. O.o the woman hates me with a passion …and draws all over my work DX the damn bitch! Yes….. through the last two months of classes with her I’ve grown to hate her with the same passion. XD lol


Crazy crazy crazy professors but it never leads to a dull moment -___- except art class when we have to sit on hard ass stools for 3 hrs drawing ooOOoo the woe of my little tail bone XD lol

Gah @.@ so much homework ..I don't think I'll be on gaia as much ...which is a good/bad thing. But anywho just thought i'd drop a note. <33 love you guys

Okay so job hunting isn't going as well as it should. I feel so unqulifed or over qulifed for jobs. People all I want is something that pays the bills. Nothing more. They are looking for radio Dj right now...>> maybe I'll give that a try. Any helpful hints Rachael?

School starts next week. I need to also kick the aid people a couple more times because I just got a thing in the mail that my check from americorps was sent off 12/21 so it should be here by now. There's something funny going on at my college. I keep on getting different answers. I don't know but they need a kick.

I need something other than gaia/computer to do. I am getting way to addicted to it that am starting to hate it. Anywho picked up poetry again. I was getting burnt out on it for a while but now I looked at some of my old stuff and am improving it. I wish they have poetry slams here. Eh maybe I can see what kind of clubs are at school and bother them into making one or joining a writing club.

Oh also in college I got to speak with a real advisor about my future and we've changed to getting an Art AD. Then get my education BA at SIU with this cool program called 2+2 . Not sure if I wanna go or need to go to grad. school >.< don't really want to think about it either. lol

gwd I wanna pay my bills ....T-T

Okay today was going great. I was happy cuz I talked to justin last night on the phone and we listen to each other breath...lol that man needs to know how to answer a question in more than one word. So today I woke up and responded to his pm's and went about my daily activities which was read, organize, clean, work out and eat some fine taste'n food and go look for a job.

My mom suggested her work place which is red lobster would be a good way to get an AC job. So I went in and applied the girl who sat me was really sweet and friendly. So I filled out the app. & then i started on the test. Now on the test it said you could use a calculator so I ask the girl behind the bar for one. She sighed got up and messed with some papers and told me that they didn't have one and to go hunt one off of one of the seaters or work it out.

O.o like i know who's a seater and who isn't.DX So I was alright *shrug* I can do it. So I just took longer on the test then I would if i had one. Then I finish and I told the girl in a nice friendly voice that i was done and handed my app to her. She thens throws it behind her and says we'll get back to you.

The damn bitch threw my app on water WATER!! I nearly stabbed the bitch she gave me this -whatcha gonna do about it- look and walked away. So that pretty much ruined my day. -_-

Okay I was invited to go to SIU to see this girl who's really into the Diaspora flow. Which is cool cuz me & the sis are really into it too. So it should be interesting she half black & phili . which is an interesting mix. but still not as sexy as a half samoan & american mix ;) oh yeah! jking lol.

But anyway this guy is really interested in my social justice background which makes me feel rather flattered & not worthy. eh anyway he wants me to meet some other professors and some of his students. I think he wants me to teach his class about the theatre of the oppressed which should be easy cuz I've done it before and i tend to enter a comfort zone with it.

Ooo I am also starting to learn more samoan words. woohooo so far I got 1-10 down..sorta...lol. DX hey am working on it alright. -_- its kind of hard to study samoa & its culture when your farther is an ass and he's should of been teaching you in the first place. grrr asshole >>;;

Okay enough farther bashing ! Mmmm maybe I should go to school in hawaii that way I could study the samoan lan. at UH ...T-T I miss hawaii I miss going to school with a bathing suit and shorts. gah ! O.o not that i would try going to college like that XD lol.

anywho gotta do laundry <3

My cheeks are nice and red from a nice walk back from Lincoln Elementry where I was called in today to Sub. I am now the most popular adult there. lol I had a blast with all the grades K-5th. I met so many awesome kiddies I wanna take them all home and feed them cookies and shove them out into the cold to go play. lol

I can't wait to have kids. ^^ I want them now. I wanna adopt so I need to get my self stable and get me a bread winning job. I think I would want to live in the city if I had a kid. There's so much more stuff for them to do. I could take them to the library , then to a play, and eat lunch at the walker. Fun fun fun. I have one friend who said I could have any of her babies . DX all she needs is a man !! Go on girl get with child!! lol

-_- I should not sub or volunteer at schools lol it makes me want kids XD

I started reading my old text book from native american lit class again. ITs called reinventing the enemy's language. edit by Joy Harjo & Gloria Bird. Both super well known native americans and awesome writers.
But I was reading a passage written by a native hawaiian and in the intro before it goes to her poem it says

"It gives me deep and abiding pleasure to write these words "four hundred years ago" in order to relate a story from the long tradition of our people; and it gives me a deep and abiding sense of belonging..."

in context this just threw me for a loop and I really cherished that feeling for writing and just the pure sense of opening a world for others to see. A lot of times I get frustrated because I see the image in my head and the beauty of that image but I seem not able to put it to words to full express the grace and the stunning beauty of a movement or an appearance of a person. It all seems to come together all hokey . which pisses the hell out of me. >> I think I need a story board or something ...maybe that would help me out.

I was reading this book the other day and at the end the author talks about how she wrote the book and she called a lot of her writings scenes and how she had to cut some...blah blah... That made me realize that hey I never thought of a book as a movie or play where you cut things out and theres scenes. maybe people are out there snickering but hey bite me XD lol.

eh ...i think am done with this entry XD should of left it at bite me it has a nice little flare to it XD

Oh Justin wanted to visit me ...guess what melia went crazy and fliped out and now ....our pm's don't feel the same T-T great way to go melia . *waves fist* damn frick'n dad thanks for causing male trust issues *domo*

*Shakes the booty*

Alright lets start this thing...

O.o am having a little trouble writing this with out my handy dandy size=9 font. :( Oh well. I am currently working at Bath and Body works and let me tell you it is ... okay. XD But it looks like that am also going to have a job at a factory pretty soon too. Plus after the 1st and the little kiddies go back to school I'll be working with them too. I think i'll be having 4-6 hours of sleep XD once all that hits me.

As far as the boi deparment goes...8) melia got asked out ..woohooo <3 Oh yeah ;) never mind that . I wont go into details about that. Oh, who is evil? *chuckles*

cuz I got sass baby ;)

Anywho I am finally feeling like life is starting to fit together...getting jobs and money flow always help but i feel like am starting to settle in down here. I can't wait until i start getting some of these paychecks so that I can pay my bills! woohoo !

Oh me and my mother spent some mother daughter bonding stuff yesterday. It was fun we took this table top that we found and some chairs and we redid them. We pasted a Van G. poster onto the table and did some painting around it and stuff it looks pretty snazzy. Plus the chairs look awesome we got them at the S & A and cleaned them down and redid the seats and put on this really awesome black denium. Looks hwt with the table. oh yeah lol

I think the only thing that is upsetting at the moment is that my sister isn't talking to me or my mom. well my mom isn't talking to her either but...I thought me and kiri was cool but it seems as if she put me with my mother and desided not to talk to me either. I am really sad that she is not visiting us this winter break either and seems to have cut off everyone except for her boi and her friends up in minnesota. Makes me sad because we use to be tight but now shes all shady. oh well I just keep on trying to call her. DX going to stalk that bitch!! lol

anyway on that note I'll end this. Peace & happy holidays

It's been raining for about 2-3 days now and its amazing because I keep on thinking ..dude..its november ..why can i go outside with just a t-shirt on O.o ... weather down here is messed up! Up in mn you don't have to worry about stupid tornadoes coming by all the time and these past couple of days tornadoes have been flying by and storms & rain has been washing cars aside ..I swear the people down here never had rain before ..or never drove during it ..I would like to slap a couple of they almost killed me today with their stupid driving *waves fist*

So we've moved into our brand new place and out of my granddad's place ..its kind of weird but I have a feeling that I personally wont be there long. I need to get a grip on life so first off I need to get jobs because my job at b&b sucks ass because I work my first non-training hours this Saturday after two weeks of no work ...I think its obvious that am not going to earn my bread with this stupid job. But I'll get nice discounts <3 woot woot<3.

So once I get my second job [which might be a CNA job again (wooohooo I luff meh some old peoples!)] I'll save up enough money to move into my own apt. I think it’s best just for my sanity and my mothers I finally realized hey melia you need to get a life and move out and start acting like the adult you claim to be. Though I do like going back into child mode and saying "Leave meh alone!! Am an adult I can make my own plans!! T_T but anywho I don't wanna be apart of the boomerang movement that seems to plague our generation ...grad from high -> go to college-> come back home T_T nu!! I say nu! to that I shall try to be more independent vs dependant on my mother to fix my problems. grrr! no more!

on a side note I am finding it harder and harder to do my homework when I can draw and daydream or read ...oh T_T yes am still such a child freak'in a habits are hard to break!! DX homework homework!!

eh I couldn't draw the face so I made her mad and drew lines XD It took me forever to get her head right freak'in a!! and still there's a lot about the picture that I wanna change like the boobs those are watermelons T_T I need mango boobs no watermelons T_T *waves fist* darn my frick'in drawing skills. and my coloring skills I just drew that marble looking thing in the background so you wouldn't see my bad erasing marks XD <3

*drools* hope I get a drawing class next semester <3 maybe then I can draw DX!!

<3

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want--good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or moritified) about what people remember about you.

So thought I'd update my frick'in journal on yet another move! Woot! go nomatic ... -_- grr.. totally forgot the word I was looking for there something about being second nature to move and some other witty things that my mind for some reasoned had a witty brain fart thingy BAH! Oh well this journal entry will go on and in fact it has sooo HA Ha!!
So we are moving out of my grandfathers house and into our town house <3. I luff it! <3 <--- see the heart that means I luff it ! -_- for reals people I do XD !

Two bedroom two bath GAH! I get my own bathroom T_T heaven has arrived + the fact that it has a bathtub <3 ooooOOooOo house how I luff thee T_T <3 by the by I did the unthinkable when we moved to my grandpa's and I got ride of $250 worth of manga T_T oh the pain! T_T but in fact i donated it to the carbondale library too capture other manga & anime freaks! T_T I so wanna go to a con T_T why oh why do I miss them ... whatevers I shall become famous and buy all the manga's japan can produce !!! yes I will! T_T

..On another note I was thinking about openning a manga shop o.o oooOOooOOOoh nu?! that be freak'in awesome !! but I was thinking manga shop meets cafe' oh la la ! that also mets cute adorible japanesse things like da pens <3 I love the pens in fact am rather a freak about it *nods* and the pencils and the food T_T drools POCKY my luff!

<3 thank god we have a constant supply of them down here .. O.o who would of thought that anywhere down in southern IL there'd be a international store that sell japaness goodness <3 aka pocky! and my all time favorite manapooa's T_T omg they are good ...XD I so messed up the spelling of manapooas XD

Whatever so sue meh! DX !!

but I found out the real name of it *nods* Pork buns! *drools* OoooO are they goood! *domo*

Anyways!!!!(oh shell gotta luff the "s" ) update
The list *sparkle sparkle* (yes I go all out XD )

*moving again
*school sucks ass
*got a job
*looking for another job
*still looking for mr. hwtie to fill my days with luff <3 XD bwhahaha!
* two more days until shell's b-day (hint: look for something in the mail >.> <.< ;;;;)

Fuck ya! I got hired and am going to beh making money T_T yus! finally I can buy all those mangas! <3 But alas Nu! I must pay off meh credit card dept T_T Freak'in plastic and the cost of moving T_T *waves fist* You strike meH for the last time!! RoARRRR!!! -_- damn bills DX ! anywho I also have another job interview coming up ^0^ hopefully I get that job too buuut that also means I'll be working two part time jobs and going to school full time o_-;; crap! Oh well fuck it DX! I luff to work <3 at least theres no bio in it DX freak'in bio may it burn in hell! DX on that note ....<.< ....>.> bai! *waves*

This past sunday aka yesterday I got to play on my grandfathers farm. well more like work my ass off XD. But anywho it was I took down a wall with a sledge hammer! woot woot! da gaint samoan is strong babah! *domo* I did it so that the pigs could have two pins to play in. trust me one pin was was too little for them o.O *shivers* It was weird when teh pigs started to eat the crumbles of da wall. O.o yeah kind of distrubing. but anyway I then got to go around and take action pictures of my grandfather running around on the farm. -_- he's kind of vain. " Melia ! That's a good camera and damn it!! Am not going to waste the film on it just because suddenly i got digital camera! so go ahead now and take some good pictures of me. That way Linda(his girlfriend) can tell how lucky she is everytime she sees a picture or me. ;)" but to tell you the truth I see where my vainity comes from XD! god luff my grandpa! He also told me that "the reason we got a brain is because of our two thumbs and if we didn't have our thumbs then whats the use of our brains." XD needless to say I think I know where I get my sense of logic from XD! <3